Big Bass Country

Early one morning St. Peter called Jesus. St. Peter told Him it was going to be a beautiful day and he would sure like to go fishing. Jesus agreed that the day was going to be beautiful and a fishing trip would be just the ticket, being he was resting today anyway. They quickly made plans and each hung up the phone.

St. Peter went outside and though it was still dark, he managed to get his boat hooked up to his truck and headed for the lake. At the lake, St. Peter launched the boat, parked the truck and trailer and made preparations for the outing. Jesus was supposed to meet him and all that was needed was for Him to show up and they would be off.

Standing on the pier when Jesus pulled up, St. Peter yelled for him to park and grab His fishing gear, stressing the fact that they were "Burning daylight." Well, Jesus parked and got His tackle and was in the the boat in a flash. St. Peter cranked up the big outboard motor and like a shot they were cutting the waves across the water, headed for Big Bass Country. 

The sun was just starting to peek above the horizon when St. Peter cut the motor off as the boat entered the secluded cove. St. Peter pulled out his trusty Zebco 33 rod and reel and started tying on a Jitterbug spinner bait, yellow with a silver blade. Jesus got out his Quantum rod and reel and started tying on a big blue worm, all the time talking about watching Bill Dance and how this rig with the six pound test line and the big blue worm were guaranteed to catch big bass.

Each of the fisherman, eager to be the first to cast, politely waited for the other to finish rigging up and together they made the first cast.

The wind was still, the water calm and you could hear birds chirping near the banks of the lake. Each had made three or four cast's when St. Peter pulled back hard on the rod, the tip bent, indicating that he had hooked one. Quickly reeling it in he measured the fish, being long enough (14 inches), he deposited it in the live well at the bow of the boat. Not that it mattered much to him, but Jesus liked to compete when it came to fishing, and he was always taking first place in competitions with the other angels. Soon, St. Peter had landed another fourteen inch bass and put him into his live well.

Kind of flustered, Jesus kept on fishing. In the meantime, St. Peter offered to let Jesus use one of his Jitterbug spinner baits. Jesus thanked him and said that Bill Dance says that big bass bite on big blue worms and that he would continue using the big blue worm.

After several more casts, St. Peter was now ahead three fish to none. St. Peter told Jesus that he knew of another cove where the fish usually were and asked if He would like to try that spot. Jesus smiled and thought to himself, "This other cove just might be the place for him to Land the Big One with Bill Dance's big blue worm." With a grin on His face Jesus told St. Peter to reel 'em in and lets go.

St. Peter cranked up the big outboard motor and like a shot they were cutting the waves across the water headed for Big Bass Country. 

The sun was just clearing the trees when St. Peter entered the new cove. Quickly Jesus grabbed up His rod and reel and started casting (trying to catch up in the fishing contest). St. Peter was lucky today and on the first cast he reared back hard on the fishing rod, the tip was bent almost double back to the handle and said, "Son, son, son. Get the net."

Finally landing the bass (10.6 pounds) with the help of Jesus and a big net , St. Peter put the bass in his live well. Again St. Peter asked Jesus if He would like to use one of his Jitterbug spinner baits. Again Jesus thanked him and said that Bill Dance says that big bass bite on big blue worms and that he would continue using the big blue worm, all the time thinking surely His luck would change.

Three casts later St. Peter was putting another bass in his live well. The score was now five fish to none. Again St. Peter asked Jesus if He would like to use one of his Jitterbug spinner baits. Again Jesus thanked him and said that Bill Dance says that big bass bite on big blue worms and that he would continue using the big blue worm.

A couple of casts latter, more flustered now than ever, Jesus told St. Peter that He knew of a place where He was sure to catch fish, that He was sure to catch the big one. Well, St. Peter said "Reel 'em in and lets go."

St. Peter cranked up the big outboard motor, and like a good fisherman, he offered to let Jesus drive, since He knew where He was going. Like a shot, Jesus piloted the boat, cutting the waves across the water headed for Big Bass Country. 

Clouds had moved across the sun as Jesus pulled into the new cove. Turning the motor off, the boat was adrift. St. Peter picked up his rod and reel and then decided to wait and let Jesus make the first cast. Looking around, St. Peter saw a stump sticking out of the water and thought to himself, "With these clouds and that stump, Jesus will surley catch the biggest fish of the day by casting just to the right of that stump." St. Peter also saw another boat with a man and his son fishing up close to the bank.

Jesus picked up his rod and reel and drew back saying "Watch this St. Peter." He pointed to the stump that St. Peter had seen and at this point St. Peter was glad he had let Jesus get the in the first cast. Flipping the rod forward, the big blue worm sailed toward the stump. Looking like an excellent cast, St. Peter was sure Jesus was about to catch the big one.

Well, there was one small twig sticking out from that stump, and the big blue worm went over it and then, over it, and over it again and again until the line was wound around the twig and Jesus was hung up, big time.

Completely flustered now, Jesus set the rod down in the bottom of the boat and let out a long sigh. He stepped over the side of the boat and walked over to the stump. He unwound the string and let the big blue worm drop in the water.
        St. Peter was watching all this and noticed that the man and his son in the other boat were watching the commotion. St. Peter called to them saying "Don't pay any attention, we are having a fishing contest."

Well, the man nodded but then he called back to St. Peter, "Hey. Who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ."

St. Peter laughed and said "He is Jesus Christ! He thinks He's Bill Dance."

Alan Payne
Artist Terry